Tim and Jill Way

Adventures of the Way Family

Abandon

I’m reading this book by Watchman Nee that is such a butt-kicker — and apparently I’m really in need of one.  Yep.  It’s kind of like this:  God totally loves blessing us, filling our lives with good things, and all that.  He’s a loving Father.  This is so obvious when you read the Bible.  But if I really want to make my life useful to Him and His Kingdom — to be a true witness that brings others to Jesus, to bring Him glory here and now, to set free people who are suffering and bound by darkness… — then I need to make some choices.  I have to be willing to choose to forgo some of the good stuff.  I have to have a mind to suffer; a willingness to accept any difficulty, discomfort, pain, loss, danger, etc in order to fulfill His work.  This is also so obvious when you read the Bible — and history.  How much do I really love Jesus?  How much do I really care about the passion of His heart (bringing redemption to the world)?  How far am I willing to go with this?

I was thinking about this:  before I propsed to Jill, I had to buy a ring.  I had no money.  So that memorable summer (actually 2 months) I worked my little hiney off.  It was not fun work.  It was physically hard.  It was hot.  It was lonely.  Nobody around.  And I didn’t reward myself by spending the money on stuff I wanted.  I lived real simple.  But all the while it was so sweet.  While I worked and sweated, I thought about Jill.  I planned out the engagement event.  I composed a poem to her.  I lived that blessed moment over and over a thousand times before it ever occured.  I filled my imagination with thoughts of life with her.  It was beautiful.  What a great summer.  I didn’t like the work, but I didn’t complain.  I longed for the time of actual reward, but just the expectation of it was enough to make life good.  I now have a beautiful eternity to look forward to, and a wedding party to yearn for.  And whatever I sacrifice or suffer for Jesus now will only make that all the sweeter.  So Lord, put me to work in any way you will.  I’m ready.

I watched The Last Samurai recently for the first time.  These guys were the picture of abandonment and passion.  When some people tried to kill the samurai, someone asked him who wanted him dead.  The emperor?  The response was, “If the emperor wants me dead, all he has to do is ask.”  What if our Lord demanded our life?  Jesus did say something about “take up your cross daily.”  I spend a lot of time and effort and even energy in prayer trying to attain the good life.  I want personl fulfillment.  Happiness.  Pleasure.  Comfort.  Blah, blah, blah.  Yeah, I need a butt-kicking.  But I want to jump into loving and serving Jesus with full abandonment.  Beginning now.


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